Major plugs to Kianna for sending me the uber coolest birthday sign =) (Actually, the only one. Hahahaha.)

But yeah.

Birthday was pretty slick.
The tournament was cool… and tiring.

And that’s about it.

Nothing new.

Sorry… not in the mood for extensive blogging today. There’s nothing to say anyways.

Sometimes I think I might be too overdramatic about some things. But oh well. Maybe that is just me.

I would have the Departure lyrics up, but I can’t find any yet, and I am too lazy to decipher them for myself. I have most of it down, only I don’t want to screw it up. (The CD came out on Tues! I’m hoping to get it soon.)

Anyways, I have piano testing tomorrow morning at 8:40. Meh. Getting up early on weekends, then straight after that I’m heading to Stockton for a massive turbocharged volleyball tournament. Will be back on Sunday (my birthday! Yay!).

Yeah. Probably no time to do anything this weekend.
Gonna be trying to finish homework in between games and stuff.

Someone did something nice to me today. It made me smile, and tear up.
So I was waiting in the bus circle/parking lot for my mommy to pick me up in the pouring rain, and a girl from my drama class comes up to me holding an umbrella. She asks me if I wanted to borrow it until my parents came. I declined, and she asked why I wasn’t under the overhang. She told me I would catch a cold and get sick. Then she walked away. She came back a bit later, and offered me her umbrella again. And again, I declined.
I barely even know her… and she doesn’t even know me… I used to sort of… I don’t know… mock her a bit, because… well of reasons, but now I hold her in such a high respect.
She offered her umbrella to a strange girl in her drama class…

Anyways, I shall hopefully see you all on Sunday… if I remember to blog & if I get back in time. If not, Monday if I have time, or Tuesday night for sure.

If you feel the need to send me anything, you can always check here for what I want =)
No obligations of course.

“Teasing pureness/of your lies”

The Prophet Said’s lyrics have finally dawned upon me. I know, I’m slow. =) What do you want to do about it? Hahaha.

“soreness of a/delightful mission”

I love Lacuna Coil… the song… I don’t know. It’s a good song. There. Hahahaha. Duh.

“Burning up/inside your mind”

Anyways, I’ve decided to get over it because it isn’t worth it. I spent a lot of time thinking about it last night, and honestly? It really isn’t worth it. (Look, I’m being mature about this for once & not I’m whining or moping around.) He says he loves me (pshhh), but then he’s just pushing me away. I’ll leave him to fight his demons. The world is moving on, and he’s still caught up in his past (in a way). I don’t need that.

“you belong/to my possessions”

So I’m kissing you good-bye, my love.

“This is my harmony/I’m in your heart again”

Good luck with that.

“This is the place to live/where I’m alone again”

Time to add all my joined fanlistings again.

“Bleed these colors open wide”

I promised I would blog, didn’t I? Well here it goes…

“Burning blues from butterflies”

1) Past two weeks have been pretty shitty. Problems have been going on and off and on. Especially with… Bob. It’s over now. And maybe for the best. I feel so alone now… so alone and so pathetic. And maybe I’m not. And maybe I am. But I don’t know.
Maybe it was for the best.

“(Tonight we, Tonight we fly)”

2) I revamped the whole site. Again. Everything should be working now. Including the guestbook which I finally got around to fixing after… after a long time. All the fanlistings are up, including the ones I was approved for many, many months ago.

“Flying faster through the night”

3) My birthday is coming up on Sunday, March 20th. And then the Atreyu concert, the Saturday after that

“Until the orange of morning light”

And that about sums up my life for the past couple of weeks after everything was destroyed.
I am such a boring person. No life, no life, no life. Hah.

“(Dear black goodbye, Dear black goodbye)”

Jealousy is a horrible thing… that’s the reason why we’re over. Jealousy & paranoia of being left for another boy. Because she (his ex) left him for another boy. And he’s constantly afraid of me leaving him for another boy… which I would never. But maybe he has reason to be afraid because most of my best friends are guys. (But then my best friends all have others that they are with or are stuck on.)
I would never leave him… not for another guy. That is just total disrespect and I hate being disrespectful because it is just wrong.
I’ve tried to explain… but I guess… I didn’t try hard enough or something.

“I know it’s hard to make this work/When you’re all alone (Alone)”

I have actually been pretty mature about this, and decided to continue… existing? I can’t find the right word. But something like that, rather than just sitting in my little corner and crying. Being with people makes the hurt disappear for a while. And it’s good. I don’t want to cry at school.

“And I’ve been waiting for so long/To hold you in my arms.”

But then the funny thing is, I get home, and I’m thinking, and everything comes flooding back and I’m sitting and crying again.

“Embrace forever my sweet girl”

I hate crying. It makes me feel so weak. And even more pathetic.

“You are the ghost of everything/that I’m not and I want to be.”

I’ll deal.
Please excuse the randomness of this blog. I don’t feel like making my thoughts make sense right now.

Okay! Everything is finally up and running again (on the main site, that is). Yes! I am so proud of myself.

New layout as well.

I’ll blog more later.
I promise. =)